Mental Health Hero

 It's been a ride.  I wasn't sure I was ready to face being back this March.  Finding a job and facing the world. Then I got thrown into a brand new world.  A world of solitude, that is similar to my past life - agoraphobic with an addiction to technology. This time my classic world is accepted, allowed and celebrated.  The pressure for finding a job, social success is lifted, but in its place is over-comfort, solitude and procrastination. Worst of all is temptation.  I've turned this lockdown into a bootcamp, a paradise. I aim to be more proactive, brave and inspiring. Instead there is greatness, a plan, ambitions, tasks to seek growth. It is the rise of the warrior, the yogi, the baker, the roller, the hula-hooper, the bodybuilder, the runner, the memory champ, the listener, the speaker, the pick up artist, the self assured human being.  What I'm doing is incredible. Be this self and I will always achieve greatness. 

  This trip was meant to be my journey of self discovery. To develop new confidence, meet new people and grow me as a person. I felt like I was going to take over the world.   Instead. It’s been hard work. Moving from one place to another, constantly worrying about meal times. What am I going to do today. Keeping my things safe. Running out of money. Dealing with a stomach bug, travel sickness, a cold, depression and anxiety. Never feeling truly comfortable living in grubby hostels and stinky snorey people. Having my girlfriend to talk and a potential chapter two, to me going off on dates whilst she gradually disappeared into obscurity. Relentless checking of Facebook, Instagram etc. Looking for something to hold onto. To escape my feelings and feel part of something.   The pressure to be social is too much. Yet at the same time, I’ve been okay with it. Do what you want . I walk down the road, the crowds everywhere, the noise of the traffic light penetrating my eardrums. ...