The Dark Days of Travelling



Travelling is incredible, but some days are intense. 

 Coping with mental health quirks and issues is both exhausting and challenging. Here are some entries from when I wasn't coping so well on the other side of the world. 

 4th March

 I've been facing anxiety throughout travels. So many thoughts all the time:

  • Not feeling safe
  • Hoping to find someone to travel with
  • Not knowing local language
  • Not getting into engaging conversations so not making connections
  • Thinking so much about next destination, next meal, next hostel
  • Thinking I'll get my stuff stolen
  • Feeling uncomfortable as I have no private space for me and belongings
  • Worries about coronavirus, bush fires, not having a job, a girl back home
I've been mostly on edge the whole time. I feel I've gone slightly mad.
My head is pressing together through my skull.


 22nd Feb

I hoped the Neighbours Tour would offer me a reprieve from the madness in my mind.

Instead I felt nothing. Just zero, My head feels like numb, yet heavy.

What have I got to look forward to? I'm stuck, all the positivity had been drained out of me.

I feel so alone. I want to cry but no tears will come out. Maybe I get away with crying behind my sunglasses. I want someone to look after me. Give me cuddles. Tell me it's okay.

I feel so bleak. Socialising is exhausting. The same conversations that I can never remember anyway. Being always on the go, unpacking, repacking. Making crappy meals with rice, potatoes or pasta in a carnage filled kitchen. My money is dwindling, there is no direction to me.

The sadness if creeping in - my head confuddled.

 I try to describe it. I feel so on edge, but scattered.

16th Feb

 I've been in a weird place since going back to Brisbane and getting ill. I feel irritable, down, lazy, confused and bewildered.

I feel I have to be social. The phone has taken over my life, with endless browsing to escape reality. It's destroying me.

I am irritable, people are always everywhere. I yearn for calm, to spread out my things. I can't stomach them.

Music helped rejuvenate me. Listening to Enya and 80s music reinvigorated me for the rest of the day.






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